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3 Years of Soft Exile (Happy Valentines)

2/14/2021

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We released Soft Exile on Valentines Day 3 years ago. I was not in a very happy place then, but was processing and dealing with things in the best way I knew how- by writing about them and recording at home by myself. It includes 3 acoustic covers (one song originally by The Smiths and two by Japandroids), and the original acoustic versions of 3 songs we later recorded as the full band for Elegant Party Animals (Yukeanthanasia, Broken Record, and Sea Anonymity...). And among all these are three others songs - Moving Out, Rio Vista, and Humans Trying - that never made it into our set and haven't really been played since. But looking back three years later, these three song are probably the most interesting and special to me.

"I never pay full price, and my favorite stage of grief is bargaining" - Moving Out

Moving Out is about my divorce. Rio Vista is about my father. And Humans Trying is about suicide, and whatever little spark is there that drives us to keep on living. These are very vulnerable recordings, stripped down arraignments with lyrics laid bare. And some of the lyrics here still feel too personal to highlight and share, and feel much safer left behind in their obscurity. But in the name of vulnerability I want to go against that instinct, and highlight and share what's here once again. Because listening back to these songs this weekend has felt like a true gut-punch for me. Which means that, despite their primitive production and recording imperfections, they succeed at connecting something- even if it is just connecting me with me. ​
​He's trying to connect it back together
the year-end weather isn't helping
he's given up here, he's given up there
he's given up looking, except as
a means to distract from cold setting in
the summer years behind him and not much to show:
a job that keeps him sane, family to not shame
a small furry helpless roommate.

in the parking lot at the store
wondering what's it for
Feel this now and keep trying

She's just trying to keep it all together
her little miracle won't calm down
fear and self doubt, no clear way out
assignments and bills keep piling up
using every ounce of discipline to surrender
again and again and again and again
every day, a leap of faith
and reason to have joy in the face of it all

the future only makes us worry
the past only makes us sad
be present now and keep trying.


while we're here please try to cut me a break, because I'm only trying
while we're here I'm gonna cut you a break, I know you're only trying
I am relieved to say that I can reflect back on these past struggles from a much happier place now. But if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, help is available - please reach out.  In the U.S. the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available to call and talk with someone 24/7 at 800-273-8255.

​<3 cg
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To Get Her (Rarities/Demos/Live) available now

2/7/2021

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Back in 2012, when I first bought my electric guitar and was trying to write songs & learn to play while singing, I had this concept for my debut that would be basically a story told for different months of the year - specifically the year 2011, since I guess I had a lot of stuff to work through then.
So it didn't really pan out that way and most of those songs were released as various EPs and whatnot. But nostalgia being what it is, we wanted to look take another look back at these songs and re-release in that original track order - but with the twist of including some alternative, live and demo versions that haven't been heard before.

Anyway, that's what we did - "To Get Her (Rarities/Demos/Live)" is available now on Apple Music, Amazon, Spotify, etc. It's free, it's streaming, but it's not smooth so buckle up :)  

​
Here's the list of songs, and the play sequence is basically  the original order they were written. 
  1. August - Don't even try (2013 demo guitar with 2020 vocals)
  2. January - Get da faq out (2014 demo version)
  3. April - Eyes open (live in manchester 03/23/19)
  4. February - Fallout (live in manchester 03/23/19)
  5. August Part 2 - Mop and bucket (acoustic 2020 version)
  6. June - Blame the dog (live in manchester 8/11/18)  
  7. July - Eyes closed (live in lowell 12/14/18)
  8. September - Comic book girl (2015)
  9. March - 12 months a year (orig 2016 version)
  10. December - Arsenaultilus (2015)

As a related side note,​ our 2016 "Humble Tracks" is available now on Spotify as well.

Check out the videos for "August" (parts 1 and 2), filmed when the recordings were made. The demo for Don't Even Try was originally recorded on my cell phone in January 2013 with vocals added in  November 2020, and the acoustic version of Mop & Bucket was recorded in October 2020.
And the live video of "Blame the Dog" and "Fallout" was recorded in the Murder Room in 2018 and 2019 respectively. Watching these reminds me of how much I miss playing shows right now, but damn these are some good memories that I couldn't help but want to share. Thanks for indulging us!
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